The Principle of Balance

I know I've never been much of a fan, but last week I couldn't help myself. It all started when I revisited a favorite book of mine, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens. It's an interesting book to admit to reading because in other peoples eyes it means you are either an over achiever because your favorite book is a self-help book, or an under achiever because you aren't a teen any more and should read the adult version. Just so you know, I have read the non-teen 7 Habits but it is terribly dull and reads like a doctorate paper (no offense Stephen Covey). So as I was reading the part on how to be principle centered and when you feel confused remember your principles and find the one that you need to focus on. Like if you find people don't trust you, work on the principle of honesty. You want to learn to play the guitar in a month, the principle of hard work. If you are feeling worn out and beaten up by life, the principle of balance. This last one almost screamed at me. I was feeling completely worn out, and it was all my fault because I had been so focused on school that I hadn't taken out the time to do anything else except watch tv at the end of the day because I was to completely exhauseted to do anything else. So in an endeavor to be more balanced Mentally, Physically, Spiritually, and socially I made goals for the next day. I would eat a healthy breakfast, read my scriptures, and call my sisters to see about having a girls night out.
Well, that week happened to be the opening week of New Moon and of course that would be what they were doing. Knowing full well what I was setting myself up for I called my sister Britta and asked if it was possible if I could get a ticket and go see the movie with them. She said sure and she would get me one. So I planned to go up friday and spend some quality time with my sisters. The next morning (Thursday morning, I procrastinate) I realized I didn't know what time we were getting together and I texted my sister about the movie. Here's how it went:
Me: Hey I was wondering what time is the movie
Britta. Midnight
Me: Tonight
Britta: yep
Britta: is that a problem?
If you can believe it, I was actually excited. I love going to opening night movies and over the past few years I haven't been able to because I've been working every thursday night. I love going to opening nights so much, I even dress up for it. When Star Wars I first came out I remember going with my mom and wearing a starwars T-shirt that I had found at DI. I've worn a witch hat to many a Harry Potter movie. And I even put on elf ears for going to see Lord of the Rings. I'm not a fanatic about any of these movies, in fact I don't think I own any of them, it just fun. Unfortunately this time I didn't dress up, I didn't have enough time to prepare, but to be honest I don't know what I would have worn. I was so excited until I was brought back to reality and realized I had a test the next day, one that I was not at all prepared for. I contemplated not going but the fact that I wasn't doing anything like this on a regular basis was the reason that I wasn't ready. I had studied, but it was tired studying, the kind where you read a paragraph over and over and over again. So I decided I would go, I would just have to study at the same time too. The more I thought about it the better I felt. I could study while we were waiting in line for the movie. Plus my sisters have always been very good at helping me study for tests and I've done well on every one that they have helped me with. So that night Annicka, Britta, Brittany (the neighbor who practically is one of my sisters) and I went to the movie (Selina who I love, wouldn't be caught dead there). So we went to the theater at about 8:00 pm, got our ticket and our bracelet that marks our spot in line, and went to the Layton Hills mall. There we visited with Selina who was working at the Popcorn Cottage, Britta showed me a coat that she had been wanting to get and looked great on her, and Matt and Annicka met up with us. It was fun hanging out with my sisters and walking around the mall, something I haven't done in years. Then we went and found our spot in line where my sisters proceeded to help me study. I admit I wasn't to terribly into studying at that point in time, but they helped me anyway. Then we were taken into the theater where we were seated and I, without warning, manifested my age. I feel asleep. I have never fallen asleep in a theater before, even when I have wanted to. But there I was sacked out, thankful that the noise of the theater was too loud for anyone but my sisters to notice that I was snoring. But I didn't miss the movie because when it started there was a loud applause, it was like my own personal alarm clock. My sister had a large caffeinated soda which she offered me and I took advantage of so that I could at least stay awake through the previews (my favorite part of any movie). I have to admit, the movie wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It could just be that sleep deprivation made the movie less cheesey to me, but it seemed like an ok movie. Sure Edward looks like a heroine addict and Bella talks only into peoples necks. Even among the screams of young and middle aged women every time a guy took off his shirt, there were some sweet moments and even a few whitty lines. In all it was a good night, even though I was completely tired. And just so you know, that test was the highest test score I've gotten in this class all semester.

Neck Talker:

Close talker:

Who Do I Love More

So last Thursday I took the afternoon off to drive up to West Point to visit my family and have my hair re-colored. I was actually really excited about this because I love going home and visiting my family. We can joke and laugh about anything. I am more energetic and happy when I'm around them. And I just feel so comfortable and at ease when I'm there. So I, looking forward to visiting, decided that I would end my study session early and drive up right away. So I got there a couple of hours before the rest of the family started to come home and I did some cleaning. It was nice cleaning a house where I know where everything is and I know all the tricks to straightening up. Then my sisters came home from school and we watched "So You Think You Can Dance" which my sisters tivo every week. We quoted movies we all knew and just had a really good time. Annicka came home at about five thirty and I got my hair colored then stuck around for a while so that I could see my dad before I went home, and that's when an awful thought came to me. Am I really just staying because I want to see my dad, or am I staying because I prefer the company of my family more than Sean? Do I prefer hanging out with my family more than hanging out with Sean? Am I horrible for thinking that way? Is our relationship in danger because I've been studying all this time and not really working on our relationship? I realized I might be in trouble. It's right to love your family, but not more than you love your spouse. Aren't we supposed to leave our family's and cleave unto our spouse. What's wrong with me? Why do I feel this way? Realizing my true feelings I decided to take a proactive step and leave my dad a note saying hi instead of using him as an excuse to put off going home. So I started to gather up my things and I couldn't find my keys. I always loose my keys, especially in my family's house I don't know why. So I looked everywhere for them. I figured they couldn't really hide anywhere because I just cleaned the house. I was looking for them so long that my dad came home and I still hadn't found them. I have an extra set of keys, but they were at our condo in SLC and I didn't want Sean to have to drive up just to bring me the keys especially because it was getting so late and he had to work early the next day. So my dad suggested I spend the night and let him drive me down the next morning to get my keys. And that's when the unexpected happened, I broke down into tears. The very thought of not seeing Sean until he got back from work the next day was unbearable. I missed him. I hadn't seen him yet that day because I had worked a grave the night before and he left before I even came home. This was too much! That's when I realized, I do love my husband more than my family. It's nice to see my family once in a while and I do miss them, but to be honest I don't want to see them every hour of every day. But with Sean I do want to see him, he's my favorite person to be around. This thought brought on more tears, but different tears. Unfortunately my dad couldn't tell the difference and just saw more tears and scrambled to come up with other options like driving down right then to go get my keys, or having me take one of my sisters cars for the night. Realizing what my dad was doing I stopped crying and told him either one would work. But there was no need because right then my dad found my keys. Usually I don't have life's questions answered so quickly, I guess this one was important.