Who Do I Love More

So last Thursday I took the afternoon off to drive up to West Point to visit my family and have my hair re-colored. I was actually really excited about this because I love going home and visiting my family. We can joke and laugh about anything. I am more energetic and happy when I'm around them. And I just feel so comfortable and at ease when I'm there. So I, looking forward to visiting, decided that I would end my study session early and drive up right away. So I got there a couple of hours before the rest of the family started to come home and I did some cleaning. It was nice cleaning a house where I know where everything is and I know all the tricks to straightening up. Then my sisters came home from school and we watched "So You Think You Can Dance" which my sisters tivo every week. We quoted movies we all knew and just had a really good time. Annicka came home at about five thirty and I got my hair colored then stuck around for a while so that I could see my dad before I went home, and that's when an awful thought came to me. Am I really just staying because I want to see my dad, or am I staying because I prefer the company of my family more than Sean? Do I prefer hanging out with my family more than hanging out with Sean? Am I horrible for thinking that way? Is our relationship in danger because I've been studying all this time and not really working on our relationship? I realized I might be in trouble. It's right to love your family, but not more than you love your spouse. Aren't we supposed to leave our family's and cleave unto our spouse. What's wrong with me? Why do I feel this way? Realizing my true feelings I decided to take a proactive step and leave my dad a note saying hi instead of using him as an excuse to put off going home. So I started to gather up my things and I couldn't find my keys. I always loose my keys, especially in my family's house I don't know why. So I looked everywhere for them. I figured they couldn't really hide anywhere because I just cleaned the house. I was looking for them so long that my dad came home and I still hadn't found them. I have an extra set of keys, but they were at our condo in SLC and I didn't want Sean to have to drive up just to bring me the keys especially because it was getting so late and he had to work early the next day. So my dad suggested I spend the night and let him drive me down the next morning to get my keys. And that's when the unexpected happened, I broke down into tears. The very thought of not seeing Sean until he got back from work the next day was unbearable. I missed him. I hadn't seen him yet that day because I had worked a grave the night before and he left before I even came home. This was too much! That's when I realized, I do love my husband more than my family. It's nice to see my family once in a while and I do miss them, but to be honest I don't want to see them every hour of every day. But with Sean I do want to see him, he's my favorite person to be around. This thought brought on more tears, but different tears. Unfortunately my dad couldn't tell the difference and just saw more tears and scrambled to come up with other options like driving down right then to go get my keys, or having me take one of my sisters cars for the night. Realizing what my dad was doing I stopped crying and told him either one would work. But there was no need because right then my dad found my keys. Usually I don't have life's questions answered so quickly, I guess this one was important.